In order to disturb as few people as possible, I left my wheelchair in the car, hobbled into the lecture hall with walking sticks and sat at the back of the auditorium.  That’s when I saw Gary Douglas be totally vulnerable as he spoke with kindness to the crowd.  He was a sixty year old man who looked stunning and younger than anyone else in the room.  I recall my body saying this man can handle my healing.  I went, “Yeah, he can.”  It felt like he was speaking just to me. He wasn’t giving me advice, he wasn’t telling me what to do; he was sharing how I could know for myself.  He gave me a glimpse of what was possible.  Gary didn’t tell me what I know, he said “What do you know?”

Gary asked the crowd if we were infinite beings. We answered yes, and he said, “As infinite beings you have choice.”  He said, “There’s no right or wrong, good or bad, it’s just a choice… As the creators of your life, you can destroy and un-create what you have created.”  He went on to say, “As an infinite being, you can perceive, know, be and receive everything.”  I found myself blinking as I watched him.  I thought, “This makes so much sense, it feels so light.”  The last thing I remember him saying that night was that goal is the Old English term for jail.  He asked how many goals had we bought or failed to achieve that were still holding us in place.  In that very instant all my old weight loss goals just flew out the window.  And my body went… ding ding ding ding ding ding.  How many of you have set any goals for you in your life?  So is there anyone who has had any goals for their body?

How many of you have actually reached your goal?  When you get there it changes. There’s always another goal you have to add.  Then you have multiple goals you have to go after and at some point you go, “Okay, when do I get to have my life?”  The goals are always the things that you are after, not what you are actually being.  What if you could give up your goals, and quit trying to meet the demands of everyone else and just show up as the grand and glorious creator that you truly are?  How fun would that be?

That day changed my life; I was so excited by what I heard that I’d gotten to the hotel before I realized I had left my walking sticks in the back of the lecture hall.  Since then I have lost over 215 pounds without dieting, pills or surgery by using the tools of Access.  Any stretch marks I acquired while gaining weight have faded or disappeared completely.  I continue to shrink and my skin has shrunken with me.  I do not have the deflated balloon-looking, sagging skin that some people experience with massive weight loss.  I have discovered the right body for me, my body, who has been with me all along, the best friend I never acknowledged.